I was walking my dogs this morning on a path that looked a lot like this except it was a lot more slushy so the ice was hard to see. A metaphor occurred to me as I was walking. Sobriety is a lot like this trail. My temptation is just to put my head down and power ahead on my walk. If I did that however, which I did try a couple of times, I would slip and possibly fall on my face. I had to take it slow, be mindful, pay attention, be patient. As soon as I thought the ice was gone, thought I had control, I started to walk faster, not paying attention and once again slipped and almost fell.
My past attempts at long term sobriety have been a lot like that. I think that I will forever need to pay attention, to be diligent, to be mindful of maintaining my sobriety. As soon as I think I have won, I will be right back to "just this once, just this one, I can handle it, I was just over-reacting, I am not that bad, I will just stick to my rules..." and I could possibly slip as I have in the past but this time it could be a fall that I could not recover from...
Very good metaphor, and so true. I read the other day that 6 ppl in the US die everyday from alcohol poisoning. Most all are between the ages of 35 and 65, and are binge drinkers. Not the demographic you would expect. I know I am very lucky to be alive. Finding and keeping a happy life means that the answer to my addict voice is always no. There is no situation in which I can drink. And that's okay, because it never really helped me or made me happy anyway. That is just an illusion.
ReplyDeleteEventually you'll use your tools (like a pair of ice skates) to navigate those icy patches so it will not be as all consuming. Just takes some time to find the right pair.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant metaphor.
Sherry