Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Advice from Dr. Phil :)

I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday and he said two things to a 25 yo addict that really resonated with me.  I actually rewound the show multiple time to hear what he was saying...to really hear it..

1.  You are emotionally immature because of your drug/alcohol use. Therefore you do not have the ability to understand/practice delayed gratification.  You have impulse control problems and are unable to "pump the breaks" and tell yourself no.  Because of this you have depressions and anxiety which you then self medicate with drugs/alcohol.

Hello!?!?! - Was he speaking to me me directly? Was God speaking to me through him?  Weird!

2.  There are 4 levels of readiness (I can't remember the actual word he used) to quitting.  #1 court ordered. #2 because other people want you to do it #3 because you know you should do it #4 because you are so sick and tired of living like this that you are unwilling to take one more minute of it. You are going to do do what ever it takes , no matter how hard or painful it is to make a change.  That you refuse to live one more minute of your life in this place.

Humm.  I am certainly at #3 all the time.  I am at #4 every 3-6 months when I have just gotten worse and sick of it.  I really want to be able to stay at #4, but that feeling fades. I find myself back at #3 and convince myself I can control it this time.


  1. We've all found ourselves there (at #3) wishing we were at #4. We're there until #4 sticks...it's really the only one of the 4 that works long term.

    What I've been noticing from your posts is that you seem so damn tired. I hope you are. I hope you're really, really, really tired. Tired paves the way to #4.


    1. I am so damn tired. It is encouraging to hear from you. You have done it and are happy. That is just so freeing to think about.

  2. I agree with Sherry. I was at #3 a long time, hopped over to #4 when something truly disturbing happened while drinking. .then would convince myself that I would moderate "this time". Finally I just was exhausted and tired of living the life of an addict. Nothing was ever going to change as long as I allowed myself to drink at all. I was going to be stuck for ever....and I just didn't want to live that way anymore.

  3. Mary - how long have you been sober? Just curious. You sound a lot like me :)

  4. Replies
    1. Wow that it great! Tell me your favorite thing about remaining sober. Not the initial relief of not having hangovers, but what keeps you going. I know the initial relief, I just have a hard time long term.

    2. Freedom and peace for sure. I never realized how much alcohol controlled me until I completely removed it as an option. I was it slave. It made every decision for me. I was also full of shame and self loathing and struggling with anxiety and depression. Now I am free. I can really feel and experience life. I have a new career that I would not have even appliied for when I was drinking.I am in good shape and even ran a half marathon! I NEVER would have believed it if you would have told me I would do that, 4 years ago. So yaa...no regrets. There is not a single day or experience that would be better with alcohol in it.

    3. It is! 6 people die every day in the US from drinking. Mainly middle aged people who binge drink. I definitely could have died several times. So everyday free is a blessing.