http://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices?utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=daily&utm_medium=email&utm_content=button__2014-12-23#t-2019
I just watched a TED talk on hard choices. It was pretty good. I think the problem with addiction is that I can't see which choice (not drinking forever or trying to moderate) is better. I really know which is better long term, but short term I want what I want and I want it now. She says that one choice really is better than the other, we are just sometimes too stupid to see it so we take the road that seems easier. Moderation, for me, seems to be easier (but not ultimately better). It is easier today on a Friday, easier in social situations, easier on vacation, seems more normal, easier for my addicted brain. But it isn't ultimately easier on my self esteem, my spirit, my soul....
The end is really the best - talking about being true to ourselves. Letting reward and punishment and fear sometimes influence the choices we make....
Creating our own internal reasons rather than external reasons for making the hard choices...
The thing is, whether you choose to moderate, or choose to abstain, it's not just one choice. It's multiple choices, every single day. I struggled at first with the whole "forever" thing too, but what I always come back to is that if I could moderate, I wouldn't have had to quit in the first place. People who can moderate just don't spend this much time agonizing over whether or not they can moderate. And if it was really "easier" to moderate, I would have done it, wouldn't I? It may not look like it from the outside, but sobriety is actually really awesome! Is it easy? Hell no, especially not at first, but it's worth it! And making the choice every day to not drink becomes easier. In time, it becomes more habit than choice. For some, moderation may be possible, but I come back to this: if I no longer need this, then what's the point? What's the point of teasing my addicted brain with just a little? In the end, it's up to each person to find what works, but for me, abstinence is the harder choice, but the easier path.
ReplyDeleteWhen you sit and really think about that one drink what do you see? BE HONEST. What I see is just more, more, more, more. I could NEVER have just one...I mean really - why even bother. When I thought about moderating it was because I wanted to drink damnit! Like you said, I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now!
ReplyDeleteNormies don't spend any time thinking about all of this shit. They either drink or they don't. Sometimes they have one and it's fine. Sometimes they get blotto and that's fine too. To be honest - I think they're kind of weird.
I love what the woman in the Ted talk said, "we are just sometimes too stupid to see it". That's gold.
Now I'm off to listen to the talk! Thanks for posting it.
Sherry
You are right Sherry - I can never just have one so what is the point? I have friends who say,"Just have one - who cares?" They really just don't understand.
ReplyDeletegeek - I really liked "abstinence is the harder choice but the easier path" - I may steal that :)