Saturday, January 17, 2015

He didn't love them (me) enough



I was just watching Intervention and it was about this couple addicted to weed and crack.  They had the intervention and were threatened with losing their two sons if they didn't take the treatment.  The mom did, but the dad walked away saying he would sign over custody.

My heart just broke and I started crying.  Then I thought, "He didn't love them enough, just like my dad didn't love me enough."  And I cried harder....

That's a rough thought to have in your head....maybe I drink so I don't thin about it.....
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9 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2015 at 12:40 PM

    Not a good plan! Watch something else that makes you laugh!

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  2. UnknownJanuary 17, 2015 at 2:09 PM

    Sending you a big hug! That sounds hard to watch. I couldn't do it. I see your thinking, and feeling unloved is just plain awful. I know this.

    But I think it's more complicated than loving enough or not loving enough. I think it was for my parents, and for most of us, anyway. Maybe the above commenter has a point--a good laugh might help? Whatever you decide to do, drinking doesn't make the feelings any clearer or easier to deal with. Take care, OK? xo

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    Replies
    1. ksusierJanuary 18, 2015 at 8:18 AM

      I don't know if I watch all kinds of addiction shows because I can relate, or because I want to remind myself where I could go or because I want to tell myself I'm not that bad. I do know that when I quit for 9 months, I totally lost interest.

      Delete
  3. SoberMomWritesJanuary 18, 2015 at 6:48 AM

    Oh sweetie I remember having those feelings about my dad when I was a child. If he loved me enough he would quit. That's why, as soon as I saw what this was doing to my kids I quit and never looked back. Because I DO love them enough and I want them to know it.

    I didn't understand the nature of addiction then or how powerful it was or how broken my father was but now, as an adult and an alcoholic I can say...

    He really DIDN'T love me enough. But it's okay because I'm a grown woman and am breaking this cycle here and now. Because I DO love my kids enough.

    I think you do too.

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    Replies
    1. ksusierJanuary 18, 2015 at 8:16 AM

      I know. I do know he loved me and wanted to do better, its just that little girl in me wanting a different childhood.

      Delete
  4. MaryJanuary 18, 2015 at 1:22 PM

    I haven't seen my dad since I was 8, so I understand the longing. But alcohol is not the answer to any situation at any time. It creates more emptiness and pain.

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  5. ksusierJanuary 18, 2015 at 9:38 PM

    Thanks, Mary. i know that and if I keep getting worse than I am just carrying on his legacy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. MaryJanuary 19, 2015 at 8:13 AM

    Exactly. You are better than that. You deserve more than that.

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