I am super nervous. I couldn't sleep at all last night. All of my joints were aching and I was having hot flashes. I just tossed and turned all night. I woke up this morning with pretty bad anxiety. I can feel the nervousness in my chest and the dizziness in my head. I checked my appt time last night and it said it was for "chemical dependency". That kinds freaked me out. It's not like I'm a drug addict (well maybe). I hope no one knows why I am there. I am just super scared and embarrassed to walk in there. I wish I didn't have to go alone.
Well, I just have to pull on my big girl pants and do it. Just let go. Try not to control the whole situation - which I usually do. Trust that someone else may know what is best for me - which I don't usually believe. Be brave and have an open mind. Be open to the process. Remind myself that I am not weak and broken. I am strong and brave.
I am so scared I actually feel like I could cry. I also kind of want to cancel and crawl back in bed.
“...control the whole situation, which I usually do.”??? If you controlled every situation, you wouldn’t have needed this appointment in the first place. Lack of control is what lands us in need of help, outside control. Believe me, I know!
ReplyDeleteControl is all an illusion.
ReplyDeleteIt is only through fear and hard work that we become who we are meant to be.
You are choosing you. Just do it. Take the leap.
When I first reached out for outside help, it was scary.
ReplyDeleteBut I let go, and found real help. Let go, take a leap of faith.
xo
Wendy