6/13/18 (Wed) I need alcohol only because of alcohol

Last night I read this comment in the book.

"The need for alcohol is caused by alcohol" and that all the fear of quitting is caused by only one thing - the alcohol itself.

Do I need alcohol to have fun? to feel comfortable in social situations? to enjoy a vacation? to relax on my patio on a Friday night? to have friends? to feel included? to feel cool? to be happy?

No!  That would be ridiculous. I THINK I need it because I am addicted to it. My addiction tells me that I need it for all of those reasons. Also, I have used it during all of those activities for so many years that it is also a habit. A habit fueled by an addictive drug. I can do all of those things without the aid of a drug. Children do all of those things without a drug and have an immense amount of joy. All of the sober people out there keep telling me they can do all of those things without a drug and be happy. Addiction creates a very flawed belief system and warped way of thinking.

I took the trash out this morning and threw away all the beer/hard seltzers in my fridge that I would be tempted to drink. I have to admit that there was a little voice in my head whispering, "Are you sure? Are you sure now is a good time? Maybe next week? Maybe after summer? Maybe after the Father's Day BBQ this weekend? Maybe after vacation? Are you sure you want to waste the money? Are you sure you won't just go buy more anyway?"

Nothing changes if nothing changes. 

As many of you keep reminding me...the solution is simple. Just don't drink....positive...Just stay sober.  Being sober won't solve all of my problems but I sure as hell won't solve any of my problems if I keep drinking. 

I have been writing in this blog for 7 years (after the previous 10 years of trying to moderate) about how horrible alcohol makes me feel. 

Enough is enough!