Up at 3:00 am...don't know why...well a least it isn't from a hangover. I did wake up feeling a lot of anxiety and worry but not sure why. I know that I need to be vigilant because I am especially vulnerable when I get tired and cranky and a weekend is approaching. Alcohol will cheer me up (in the moment) and make me feel more "normal". I know that it is a short term solution that creates long term problems, but I know that if I get tired, my resolve starts to fade.
We were watching Star Trek Discovery last night and one of the character something that I immediately had to write down so I would remember it:
"Just as repetition reinforces repetition, change begets change...Sometimes the only way to find out where you fit in is to step out of the routine. Because sometimes, where you really belong was waiting right around the corner all along."
Yup. Maybe call that counsellor and see if you can get in sooner. It’s worth a shot.
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