Ok, so here is my question for today.
How do I stop obsessing, and remain sober? I will ask the therapist this next week, but also wanted your ideas.
Many of you are telling me to stop analyzing, stop overthinking all of it, stop trying to figure it out...just don't drink, be patient and the rest will come. I totally get that and wish I could but...
I have obsessed about alcohol for so long wether I am thinking about drinking, drinking, recovering from drinking, contemplating sobriety, trying to remain sober, contemplating moderating, trying to successfully moderate, etc.
When I stop thinking about it, reading about it, blogging about it....I end up drinking again. It's almost like I am in a mental sword fight with my addiction and if I put down my weapon (obsessing) it can more easily take control of me and win. I really want to stop thinking about it, but when I do...I tend to drink again.
In AA they'd tell you to reach out to other sober people for help, and to pray/meditate and also harness that energy by being of service to others. Newcomers are often put in charge of making the coffee or setting up chairs or greeting people at the door. It helps you both stay safely in the middle of a sober group of friends and it gets your mind off yourself.
ReplyDeleteSince you're not interested in getting group help, maybe rather than trying to NOT THINK about it, you can come up with some other project to take up some of your time/obsession. It's impossible to not think about an elephant if someone tells you, "Whatever you do DON'T think about an elephant." But if you're busy doing something else with your brain and energy, it's not that hard to not think about elephants. Is there something you've been interested in learning about or doing? Starting an herb garden? Learning to knit? Drawing, Yoga?
Also, I would say that some meditation would help. Just sitting still and observing that part of you that's spinning off--realizing that's not YOU it's just some of your thoughts. You might not be able to stop them, but you don't have to be swept up in them. Over time you'll develop a little self compassion...some "Well, hello obsessive thoughts, how are you doing today? Still spinning? Oh well..." as opposed to "Damn it! Why can't I stop obsessing?!" It's really a perspective thing. Just because you're having thoughts doesn't make them true. Same thing for feelings--they're not facts, they're just feelings and they're like clouds--they change, they pass by. No need to BE the feeling, just be the tree watching the feeling come and go.
I'm not saying this will be easy or work immediately, but the whole idea of making some other changes in your life (other than just NOT DRINKING) is crucial. You've created a vacuum by taking away booze--You need to let healthy things fill it.
Lulu
Point taken, lulu, stay busy. I feel so much better at the end of the day when I have been productive and gotten something done. Maybe I should find some volunteer work.
DeleteYou really need to check out AA. Find a women’s meeting. Just go. What do you have to lose? You’re a bundle of anxiety and white knuckling it and spinning around wasting energy! Go and talk to someone in real life. Don’t let your pride and ego take you down.
ReplyDeleteI have my very first appointment with a therapist next Tuesday. Big step for me.
DeleteIn the early days, I allowed myself to obsess but in a positive way. I listened to the Bubble Hour and read blog after blog, always going to the bloggers' earliest days for comparison and support.
ReplyDeleteMelissa
I do that too and it does help.
DeleteDon’t drink. Read books about sobriety. Listen to sober podcasts. Immerse yourself in recovery. See what happens.
ReplyDeleteJust don’t question it. Drinking is not an option. Not now. Not today. And today is all we have.
Don'g drink...don't question it... the best advice
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