7/9/17 (Sun) Yippee!

I did it! I did it! I did it!  I experienced my first sober Renaissance Festival and had fun. And....my son (without really saying so bc that's who he is) and my daughter (who said it multiple times in all caps) told me how proud they were of me!

I am proud of me.  I am proud of me not so much bc I didn't drink (well that too) but because I was not "white knuckling it".  Something has shifted in my brain and I just, honest to God, did not want to drink.  Everyone else was (my very best drinking buddy, her husband and two daughters, one of which just turned 21, and my husband) and I didn't care.  My husband, who is usually right there with me on about beer 5-6 by 4:00 in the afternoon, only had one beer the whole day.  This is probably bc I wasn't constantly either bringing him beer or having him get me one. Maybe my not drinking will also help him drink less. I didn't feel jealous. I didn't care at all how much they drank. It just wasn't for me.  I was fine with my ice tea and root beer ( of which I only had one of each).  I thought I would be just downing the root beet in an attempt to substitute for the beer. Funny thing - I can stop at one root beer lol! My body didn't go into "I need just one more" mode with soda!  Funny how that works. I had one and that was enough even though I had given myself prior permission to drink six! I only had two beverages. In the past I wouldn't have been without a cup  in my hand for more than 20 minutes.  It was a very weird feeling to not drink and not care.

It was actually pretty liberating as every decision I made wasn't about alcohol - where is the next beer stand? What time is it? How many more can I have before they close? Should I have any more? It's the Renaissance - who cares? You might feel crappy tomorrow? So what?  OMG! All of those exhausting thoughts were not in my head.  It actually felt a little peaceful,just way calmer, inside my head.

At an end of the day, we sat down to watch a show that is completely inappropriate but fun and hilarious.  This has been how we have finished the day in the past. At the stage with the heaviest drinkers who didn't want to leave and the show filled with singing and raunchy jokes.  I had my 11 year old nephew with me. Before the show started, they had a warning about the content. As I was they only one with a child in the audience, I knew it was directed at me.  In the past, in my end of the day  - drunken/this is all about me/this is my day/this is were I want to be  - state, I would have either ignored the warning or had someone else (like my 19 yo son who would have been embarrassed to get up and walk out right after the warning like I was making him leave) take him somewhere or would have begrudgingly gotten up and taken him somewhere myself.  Because I wasn't drinking, my attitude was much better - I was perfectly fine taking him to get some food while letting everyone else (who was drinking) enjoy the show.  That was a pretty awesome, unselfish, responsible feeling.

Another example - a lady was super upset because she couldn't find her kid.  Me, being in my right mind, found a security guard for her who then was able to radio all the other security.  After about 20 minutes the child was found.  I was grateful I was sober enough to help this total stranger.  Turns out the day isn't all about me and that felt pretty good.  I could get used to this!

Also - I was shocked by how many people weren't drinking at all!!!!  I thought everyone was totally trashed at the Renaissance Festival.