Wednesday, July 19, 2017

7/19/17 (Wed) - Karma - Is it me?

Karma - What you put out into the world - you receive back.  I have always believed this and tried to be a good person, but the meditation today made me think about it differently.  In the past 7 years or so, I have noticed that people are treating me differently. I am not always the most popular teacher anymore, I am not always the most respected college anymore, my kids are a little more snippy with me, my husband isn't quite as attentive as he used to be, my friends don't always make sure I am invited to everything anymore, my extended family is a little less patient and a little more judgmental.....I have just been going under the assumption that it is just what happens as you get older - part of the aging process - people just have less respect for you and less desire to be around you.  That everyone else is just becoming grumpy and judgmental and critical of me. I have heard myself say, "I just hate people."

What if.....this is only a reflection of what I have been putting out there in the world.  What if I have become more critical, judgmental, irritable, impatient and less understanding of others.  What if I am just getting back what I am giving.  What if, because of my addiction and obsession with alcohol and the depression/anxiety/insecurity/exhaustion it has brought into my life, I have become a different person and therefore and being treated differently by others. What f I go back to the person I used to be before alcohol was consuming me? Can I change the way the I act in this world and therefore change the way the world responds to me?

Image result for karma what you give is what you get buddha

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