Saturday, July 15, 2017

7/15/17 (Sat) "Ya, right," says my sister.

So my sister came over for dinner without her bottle of wine - which she almost always brings for us. I asked her where her wine was. She said she didn't bring it. I said that I wanted her to still be able to drink around me and that it didn't bother me. She said, "Ya, right" like she thought I wasn't being honest. To prove it to her, I went to my garage, got a bottle of red, opened it, got two wine glasses, poured her a glass, poured root beet in mine, held up my glass and said "cheers" with a genuine smile on my face.  We ate dinner, played some poker and sat outside and I was perfectly happy with my root beer. And once again - I was able to stop at just one and I am not obsessing about that root beer this morning :)

I am extremely powerful over alcohol - I have the ability to physically not put it in my mouth and mentally not crave it.  I am glad to be done with it. Another hurdle accomplished and it wasn't even hard. I'm just gonna kick the shit out of alcohol!

Image result for zuberfizz root beer

This is a very good brew from a local brewery 👍


  1. It's ok to not have people drink around you. Sometimes taking the easy road is the right choice.
    I'm not saying you have to, but it is less mentally draining to not have alcohol around whenever possible.

    It's not a war. It's a decision. You are choosing life.

    Big hug.

    1. I am with you.
      I had wine at my dinner party too early in my sobriety.
      It just made the party harder than it had too.
      Now, I am okay with it, but it still is more relaxing when it's an all sober party!

    2. I hear both of you. But..I am determined to not let my drinking impact what others do and also not be judgmental of them. My choice to stop drinking is my choice. I could choose to drink, but I don't want to. It is working for me right now. I do understand what you are saying and I worry a little about the future when my voice tells me I can try again and then being around it causes a lit of temptation. That is what happened last time after 9 months with my sister in a nice restaurant with a glass of wine. I felt I was all better, could try again and it was right in front of me.

    3. It is not a war...what do you mean by that? I am sincerely curious. Do you think I am being too aggressive and not as peaceful as I should be. Do you have advice? Did you experience any pitfalls bc of feeling this way?

    4. My personal experience is everything comes down to unconditional self acceptance and finding ways to make like easier, not harder.

      I spent years pushing myself to accomplish more, do more, be more. As much as I did accomplish, I never felt good about myself. I could never be thin enough, successful enough, recognized enough.

      Letting go of the aggressiveness and embracing doing less has changed everything. I don't need a stick or a carrot to motivate myself. I do what feels best.

      I tried harder to suit drinking for a long time. Eventually I surrendedeted.

      I don't go to AA, except occasionally with my husband, but I have found some real insight in the writing. There is nothing to fight. When you quit picking up that first drink you have already won.

      I'm not sure if that makes sense. And my thoughts have changed a lot over the years. I also encouraged people to bring drinks to our house, etc. In the end I decided what I need is just as important and asking them to not drink around me was a putting my needs first. We so rarely do that.

      Brene browns book the gifts of imperfection is my bible. It's very short and very profound.