Wednesday, July 19, 2017

7/19/17 (Wed) - Unhappy because of alcohol or alcohol because unhappy?

I have been reading a lot lately that we drink because we are ultimately unhappy with our lives but too afraid to deal with it. That we are just covering our unhappiness with alcohol.

What if we are only really unhappy because of what we have done to our brains and bodies with the constant consumption of an addictive drug? What if we stop drinking, we are removing the thing that is making us unhappy?

When I think about the first scenario it scares me. I feel like when I finally get sober for an extended period of time, I am going to have to deal with some pretty nasty shit in my life.  That thought just makes me want to drink so I don't have to deal with it.

When I think about the second scenario, it makes me hopeful that I will have the life I desire when I stop doing the thing that is making me unhappy.

I'm going to choose option 2. For now, that is what will keep me from drinking.


  1. This is a cool post and I posted one similar somewhere back in my online diary of stuff. Probably called it something ridiculous like "Raining" or some crap so I can never find it!

    Anyway, I think you are looking at both options KS. I have found that option 1 is like this massive dead end - you can never leave the unhappiness because alcohol becomes a friend to it. There is nowhere to go with option 1, if you are drinking and sad (which we all are - go figure) then you will stay sad, even if good shit happens we eventually end up sad and no better ahead. Time has passed and we don't get better, but hey we have alcohol.

    Option 2, well yes it is a bit scary but you don't have to think about it as it will just start to happen naturally. Without alcohol dealing with stuff is actually easier I find but it was 7 months before I even felt like that. It is like things come up and my brain "handles" it, whereas before I couldn't cope at all and got overwhelmed and shitty.

    Luckily I found that my mind drip-fed my problems to me at a rate that I could handle. Perhaps my self conscious self was protecting my raw, un-drunk self - I also have learned to actively protect myself like never before. Used to think i could handle anything, what a load of crap... I really can't and so now say no to stuff that will load me up too much so I am ready when another buried issue needs attention. like keeping a part of me always free for what may come up.

    A bit rambly but hopefully there is something in there xx Michelle x

    1. Haha!! I am trying to rename some of my posts to a title that makes sense and is easier to find!

      There are things I don't want to deal with so I hope I can just continue to not deal with them sober.

  2. Drinking isn't making anyone happy.
    Sure, it miaght be part of a good time, but the alcohol itself is not the source of happiness.
    Of course, without alcohol there will be hard things to deal with. Such is life.
    But that's where the joy resides as well. We have to take the good with that hard.

    The on,y way to find out is to stay sober and see what happens.