Tuesday, July 25, 2017

7/25/17 (Tues) Waiting for the Pink Cloud

No pink cloud yet and getting frustrated. Last time I got past 30 days I felt great.  This time not so much. Trouble sleeping, super tired, no motivation, not losing any weight, still pretty grumpy.....kind of a breeding ground from thoughts like, "what's the point of not drinking when I still fell crappy."
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13 comments:

  1. AinsobrietyJuly 25, 2017 at 8:45 AM

    i did not magically feel better when I quit.
    Yes, I liked not being hungover...but my anxiety became extreme and so I slept poorly and was on edge all the time.
    My mind fel free...but I was pretty fragile.

    The healing stage lasts a long time. Lots of Epsom salt bubble baths, magnesium before bed, extra vitamin b, naps and relaxing.

    It was during these weeks that I recognized I needed more than just sobriety. That I had been self medicating years of severe depression and generalized anxiety. My therapist and doctor were huge supports.

    I looked for the small signs that I was doing the right thing. The sigh I had going to bed sober. Washing my face and brushing my teeth. Knowing where my phone was every morning.

    A pink cloud is always there. But sometimes it's hard to see.

    You will feel better. It just takes time.
    Hug
    Anne

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    Replies
    1. ksusierJuly 26, 2017 at 6:53 AM

      I hear ya! I am giving it time. Last time I quit my mantra was - patience. I think if I could just sleep better it would help.

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    2. AinsobrietyJuly 27, 2017 at 5:29 PM

      300 mg magnesium citrate before bed. It is amazing. You will sleep.

      Delete
  2. BrianJuly 25, 2017 at 11:56 AM

    Good point. I have to say, I can't remember feeling "amazing" at any specific point. However, there's another way to look at it. I wasn't anxious, depressed or groggy. I didn't feel physically drained. My concentration and memory slowly improved. There's dozens of things, over time, that I no longer felt or experienced when I got sober. The end result was happiness. Think about all the ills and mental anguish that you've avoided by staying sober. Look at how fortunate you are that you were able to stop. Your glass is half full, ready for you to add a little more every day :)

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    1. ksusierJuly 26, 2017 at 6:54 AM

      You are right Brian - I may not feel amazing, but I do feel better than when I was drinking.

      Delete
  3. ClaireJuly 25, 2017 at 2:39 PM

    It's taken me a lot longer to feel physically better this time around (day 47 attempt 46,753), and I think that every attempt probably is harder for your body to bounce back from, depending on how long you have been binging and how old you are (cough). Mentally I feel though I've just hit pause on where I am in recovery every time I've gone bac to drinking, so I don't have to relearn lessons and I'm moving on to the next discovery. So it's accumulated learning rather than new learning. Now realizing that I wasn't doing the same day 1 over and over, but that I needed to revisit some particular lessons so they stick. So maybe a pink cloud isn't for you this time around but something new.

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    1. ksusierJuly 26, 2017 at 6:55 AM

      yup...I have now been sober (in all of my multiple attempts) for every month of the year except May. May is a killer for me so I need to get all this time under my belt before it rolls around again.

      Delete
  4. UntipsyteacherJuly 25, 2017 at 3:20 PM

    I never had a pink cloud, and as Anne said, it took me along time to start feeling better. Our bodies don't heal overnight. Lots of self care and helped me, too.
    I too found help by seeing a therapist, by exercise, and by my increased self-esteem I had not drinking.
    Give yourself the gift of time.
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. ksusierJuly 26, 2017 at 6:56 AM

      I am trying to patiently wait for the feelings of happiness :)

      Delete
  5. Kary MayJuly 26, 2017 at 6:59 AM

    I had the pink cloud and I loved it, I'm not sure I would have made it through the first part of sobriety without it, but then my life was such a hell before I quit what I thought was the pink cloud might have just been normal life. k, school is getting ready to start, think how great you're going to feel.

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    1. ksusierJuly 27, 2017 at 8:07 AM

      I definitely feel better about another school year starting. Remember that one year when I wished I would have fallen off a chair and hurt myself just so I could go home and how I had feelings of running far away and never coming back? That was a bad August.

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  6. Giving Up Drugs and AlcoholJuly 27, 2017 at 12:10 AM

    Me neither - no pick cloud at all: Her is me at a month "how long will it last" post I was super pissed of for almost 3 months.xxx

    https://givingupdrugsandalcohol.blogspot.co.nz/2016/12/about-how-long-does-this-last.html

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    Replies
    1. ksusierJuly 27, 2017 at 8:27 AM

      I read your post and about 20 others from your blog - it is sooooo weird how we all seem to think the same way. For so long I thought it was only me :) It must be the voice of addiction that we all share.

      Delete

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