Sunday, December 18, 2016

12/18/16 (Sun) Weekend of drinking and Should I go for a month or a year?

I didn't drink a lot - 3 beers Friday and 3 beers Saturday - but still drank both days and am pretty tired today.  Slept fine as it wasn't wine that I drank but still tired, lacking energy, lazy, maybe a little depressed.  Not really a hangover - just tired.

Anyways...I know for a fact that I am not drinking in January.  I have had a dry January the last two years so I know I can do it and I will do it.

I have a question for all of you happily sober people out there -

Should I commit to just a month? or should I commit to a full year? Which was easier for you? I am really stuck - kind of analysis paralysis which is really just procrastination...still obsessing but not doing anything about it...which I have done for the past 20 years...

Pros of a one month commitment
I know I can do it.
It doesn't seem as scary as a year
My commitment level will be higher as it is only a month
I can add more time at the end of a month if I just feel great

Cons of only a one month commitment
I would probably just be white knuckling it and counting the weekends until it was over
I am fairly certain I would not add another month -  lol
Been there..done that...maybe I should go for something bigger - not a huge challenge

Pros of a one year commitment
Maybe I could just relax and settle into the idea without the stress of counting weekends
Can you imagine how proud I would be of myself one year from now!!
I don't have any huge trips (all inclusive beach) or drinking events (wedding, etc.) coming up in the next year - so might be a good year to try
I will be 50 in a year so I could really focus on getting in shape in the next year
I would keep my work out commitment much more easily
I would be giving my body ( and brain) a year to heal and recover - something that really can't happen in a month
While it sounds scary - it also evokes a sense of excitement and release inside when I think about it
Why not??

Cons of a one year commitment
IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!!!
It's going to suck, be boring, be emotional, be stressful.
I will lose touch with my friends.
I will isolate.
I won't have any fun.
I will be left out.
I will be sad and boring and bored.
All I will want to do it go to bed.
The summer will suck!
The spring will suck!
Not being able to sit on the porch in the sun with a beer in May will suck!
Summer vacation will suck!
Going on vacation will suck!
Not having beers with my dh in our favorite restaurant will suck!
Having to drink seltzer while everyone else gets to drink beer will suck!
Not being able to have beers with teammates after work or friends on the weekend will suck!
Having to answer question about why I am not drinking will suck!

I WILL FAIL...that is probably my biggest fear!






3 comments:

  1. I am going to be honest...you don't seem to be having fun now. Your weekends seem dull and repetitive. They seem very similar to how mine were. I put a lot of need into drinking...and in reality we spent a lot of time listless on the couch or in lounges making small talk buzzed.

    Sober life is full. Mornings are full of possibility. Sleep is awesome. My skin is nice. I am relaxed and content.

    You have your whole life ahead of you. Embrace the change today. No more analysis required.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for continuing to remind me that you were just like me and that it can get so much better. I sometimes feel like I am different and that I can control it even thought none of you could. I just need to be constantly reminded that like does not suck on the other side.

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    2. Lol. I thought I was different too...but I also always felt like I was an outsider, watching the world from the other side of the glass...

      Turns out we really are all the same.

      It's insane just how tightly people cling to what hurts them. Booze is just one example.

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