Wednesday, December 28, 2016

12/28/16 (Wed) Talked to my dh - shit and get off the pot lol

My dh is great with me when it comes to alcohol.  He could care less if I drink or not and supports me either way.  He does know I struggle with it and does worry about me.  He often does not really know just how shitty I feel during hangovers.

I talked to him today and he didn't even roll his eyes even though he had heard this a million times in the past 10 years.

I told him I don't drink like a "normal" person. That I have tried for so long, I just don't think I can. It is something in my DNA. I have never been able to - always been a binge drinker.  The difference now is that I also cannot even process alcohol anymore.  It was ok to binge drink (in my mind) as long as I felt ok the next day.  Now, I told him, it takes me days to recover even if I only have 3.  Plus, I explained, I think it is making me overall depressed and increasing my anxiety and obsessive/worry feelings. Thirdly, I said, I just don't think I can be as happy as I want to be as long as I am drinking.

He said (and I quote), "You should just shit and get off the pot. You have been sitting there constipated doing nothing for too long."

Meaning - you have been fighting this so long, you should just take the plunge and stop altogether. Stop thinking about doing it - trying to do it - just do it and move on.

He says, "Just stop drinking."  Like it is that simple. Maybe it really is that simple. Not necessarily easy but certainly simple - stop doing the thing that is making you unhappy!


  1. Sounds like good advice.
    Have you gone to AA in the past? Perhaps the support from a group might help you?
    I'm not a big AAer, but I go to meetings sometimes and I think just that willingness helped me find acceptance that for me sober is better.

    1. I have not gone to AA nor will I. I don't know why - maybe I'm not that bad....maybe it reminds me of my father who abandoned me for alcohol...maybe I'm afraid I would see someone I know...

    2. Just a is a place to find some answers, but it isn't for everyone.
      What about SMART recovery?

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  3. Later on I felt yucky after just 3 drinks, too.
    I had to reach down really deep and decide to stop drinking.
    But I am in a much better place now.

    1. I just think we abuse our bodies for so long, that it just can't take it anymore.

  4. I had nearly the same conversation with my hubby this morning after a major meltdown last night.
    Its time to stop, just stop, no it won't be easy but I think making the decision just to stop removes the indecision of will we won't we.
    Its my new (and hopefully last) day 1 today, hopefully yours to x

    1. I know that when I didn't drink for 9 months, I got along way better with my husband. I just wasn't so tired, irritable, depressed and anxious all the time. When things in my head calmed down, everything around me calmed down.