Monday, April 25, 2016
4/25/16 (Mon) What am I doing wrong?
Once again - another tired, depressed Monday. Try, try, try, try again. I am not going to drink this weekend. How did drinking help my weekend? What did I do Friday or Saturday that I couldn't have done without a drink? Nothing. I would have still sat in the sun (maybe even walked the dogs instead) and I would have still gone out to dinner Friday just without a drink. My Saturday would have been the same except I wouldn't have had any wine with my sister that evening. Everything would have been the same except for the little fight that we all got in to. I certainly could have lived without that drama. Sunday would have been way better as I spent the whole day on the couch (again) exhausted, bloated, anxious, depressed. Now I am starting Monday behind on my household chores and still feeling bloated and tired to start my week.
I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. And the most stupid part of all of it is - it is self induced and is something I can absolutely change. I just need to change my mind.
When is the feeling of being sick and tired going to out weigh the feelings of wanting to drink on the weekends?
Why can't I just remember how crappy I feel all the time on a Friday or Saturday night?
Why am I not strong enough to conquer this?
What am I doing wrong?