In my wanderings around the internet, while being completely distracted today, I came across this article. It is spot on to everything I feel before drinking, while drinking and after drinking. It totally explains the neurotransmitters and what happens to them while drinking and why I am addicted. It is pretty scary what alcohol does to keep me in the trap.
It makes me feel better to know that I am not just imagining my addiction and issues. It's not just an obsession. I am not making a mountain out a mole hill which then gives me permission to brush it off and continue drinking. My brain really and truly is screaming out for alcohol because I have trained to to behave that way with years of abuse.
But it also makes me hopeful because I think I can reverse all of that damage with sobriety. I wonder if the damage is ever truly undone? It seems that people who have gotten to that point struggle with the desire for alcohol for the rest of their lives. That would be unfortunate.
My brain has had lots of alcohol training too :(
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say I have absolutely no desire for alcohol. None.
ReplyDeleteAnd I was definitely obsessed.
The freedom and joy is just too amazing.