12/26/11 (Mon) Tiny step - Let's not drink

Ok so I made the first tiny little step.  The drama has already begun.  No one can decide on a time for dinner.  People are getting a little snippy - some are saying if we miss it - oh well we will be there later.  What?!?!?!?  I have to go buy all the food, make it and host.  People should be committing to a time.  RUDE!!  I, of course, am trying to be the peace maker, have spent an hour now texting everyone trying to settle on a time.  My anxiety level is already rising!  

I talked to one of my sister and said, "I know you have to work tomorrow.  Are you planning on drinking?"  She said, "I don't really care.  I hadn't really thought about it (wow - I wish I could feel that way - but I can't/don't)."  I said, "Well, how about let's not.  i already feel my anxiety rising.  I am worried about how today is going to go and if we put alcohol in the mix, it might not be a good thing."  she said, "OK whatever."  then in the next breath I said, "Can you bring whatever wine you have, just in case other people want some so I don't have to go to the liquor store?"  I know that is my addiction talking - freaking out - feeling betrayed.  

I am seriously considering at least telling my sister the truth today.  The thought of that both scares the shit out of me and feel amazing!  i will keep you posted.  It will take a lot of courage and I will probably chicken out.  I will keep yo posted!