Monday, December 26, 2011

12/26/11 (Mon) Success (anxiety attacks)

I DID IT!!!!  I got through cooking an amazing Christmas dinner for 16 people (crazy, drinking, family members) without drinking.  I don't know if I have ever done that in my adult life other than the year I was pregnant.  It was a little weird.  The anticipation and build up was actually worse than the event.  While making the shopping list, out shopping and beginning to cook I felt terrible.  I had a major mental struggle going on in my head.

On the one hand I was thinking, "This is just going to suck. I don't even want to do it.  I just wish every one would cancel.  I am not going to be able to look forward to everything again. I will just start tomorrow.  I shouldn't be attempting this during the holidays.  what am I going to say of anyone bugs me."

On the other hand, I was thinking,  "Are you kidding me!!!  I haven't even gone 2 days and I am already trying to convince myself.  This about how incredibly proud you will be about yourself.  It is just another 24 hours.  No big deal just get through it."

I honestly felt like I was having an anxiety attack for about 3 hours because of the anticipation of not being able to drink.  Then, once everyone started getting here, I just kept busy, tried not to think about it and just focussed on the cooking.

The most amazing part was that NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!  I DON'T THINK ANYONE EVEN NOTICED!!!!! I am shocked!!!

1 comment:

  1. WOW that's one HUGE step you took! How very strong you are, to manage through that battle AND deal with the Christmas dinner at the same time.

    Good going girl!