Sunday, December 25, 2011
afraid
Why am I so afraid of taking that step of total sobriety? I am so afraid that life is just going to suck without alcohol. I look forward to having a couple drinks when it comes to anything special going on - holidays, get togethers, birthdays, vacations, weekends. It has just been a part of me for so long. Nothing seems like it will be as fun or enjoyable anymore and I won't have anything to wait for, to look forward to. I know it sounds stupid, but did you guys once feel like this? What did you tell yourself to get over those feelings? I know, I know, I know - life is great for all of you now....but it is not for me...I want to be completely abstinate but I just can't imagine never being able to have that part of my life again.
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Have you read "Kick the drink - easily" by Jason Vale (I think that's his name). I found it really really useful. Be great if you could get it from the library or something. He points out really clearly how alcohol doesn't make anything 'special'. Those events you talked about above are special because of the lovely humans and positive emotions present, not the booze. The booze, for us boozers, just takes away. It doesn't add. I know that fear so well, that life will be flat and grey without booze. It isn't. You just have to believe that to be true. It really isn't. xxxx
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