Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Eve 2011 - 6:30 PM

I would normally be well into getting my drink on by now!  Every New Years (except one pregnant one)for the past 25 years (since I was 19) I would be drinking by now!  Man, did I look forward to this day.  It was my favorite holiday.  I, in fact, was the one having the neighborhood New Year's Eve party for maybe 15 years so I didn't have to drive anywhere.  I had some that were really bad and I was tashed.  I had some that were moderate and I did pretty good.  I never had any that were sober and I rarely woke up on New Year's Day feeling good.

I am not quite sure how I feel right now, maybe a mixture of thankful, sad, excited, nervous, tired, bored, embarrassed, proud, anxious, calm, angry, happy, restless, content.  it really is a mixed bag of emotions.

On the up side - I am now hosting a teenage party.  just got back form the store with $75 dollars in junk food for them.  I guess it is better than the money I would have spent on alcohol.  In the past I would have been way to selfish. i wanted my kids with me but that was because I didn't want to have to worry about them.  I take care of them all the time.  This was my night!  My night to spend with alcohol!  That is actually a bit sad.  This New Years Eve I will truly be present and spend it with my family.

No comments:

Post a Comment