I would normally be well into getting my drink on by now! Every New Years (except one pregnant one)for the past 25 years (since I was 19) I would be drinking by now! Man, did I look forward to this day. It was my favorite holiday. I, in fact, was the one having the neighborhood New Year's Eve party for maybe 15 years so I didn't have to drive anywhere. I had some that were really bad and I was tashed. I had some that were moderate and I did pretty good. I never had any that were sober and I rarely woke up on New Year's Day feeling good.
I am not quite sure how I feel right now, maybe a mixture of thankful, sad, excited, nervous, tired, bored, embarrassed, proud, anxious, calm, angry, happy, restless, content. it really is a mixed bag of emotions.
On the up side - I am now hosting a teenage party. just got back form the store with $75 dollars in junk food for them. I guess it is better than the money I would have spent on alcohol. In the past I would have been way to selfish. i wanted my kids with me but that was because I didn't want to have to worry about them. I take care of them all the time. This was my night! My night to spend with alcohol! That is actually a bit sad. This New Years Eve I will truly be present and spend it with my family.
No comments:
Post a Comment