I am a 50 year old wife, teacher and mother of 2. I have a 19 year old son and a 23 year old daughter. I am fighting this damn drug called alcohol. I have been a weekend binge drinker for 30 years. I binge 2-3 times a month on a Friday or Saturday, but alcohol kicks my butt every single day of my life. I am sick of it!
Friday, July 29, 2011
7/29/11 (Fri) Am I physically addicted?
Messages from Tucker have completely shattered how I look at my drinking and made me realize that all the shitty feeling I have during the week are just PHYSICAL withdrawal symptoms from weekend binges. Sound easy enough to understand, but in the past I have just thought it was a one day hangover and then couldn't figure out why I was such a grump, so exhausted the rest of the week until Friday when I could drink again. I just waited around all week to drink on Friday and Saturday. I THOUGHT that was just because it was the weekend and I wanted to chill, have fun, relax ..... actually I now think (thanks to Tucker) it was my body/addiction SCREAMING at me all week to feed it. When I finally did (feed it) on Friday, it was happy so I thought I was happy. Saturday repeat (my addiction is happy so I am happy). Monday - Thursday - repeat the same feelings of depression, exhaustion, anxiety, irritability (WITHDRAWAL). I am getting a little tired of alcohol dictating whether I am happy or not.
Thank you, Tucker, for you honest, direct, butt-kicking, concerned, caring text.
You have changed my mind - now it is up to me to change my behavior.