Messages from Tucker have completely shattered how I look at my drinking and made me realize that all the shitty feeling I have during the week are just PHYSICAL withdrawal symptoms from weekend binges. Sound easy enough to understand, but in the past I have just thought it was a one day hangover and then couldn't figure out why I was such a grump, so exhausted the rest of the week until Friday when I could drink again. I just waited around all week to drink on Friday and Saturday. I THOUGHT that was just because it was the weekend and I wanted to chill, have fun, relax ..... actually I now think (thanks to Tucker) it was my body/addiction SCREAMING at me all week to feed it. When I finally did (feed it) on Friday, it was happy so I thought I was happy. Saturday repeat (my addiction is happy so I am happy). Monday - Thursday - repeat the same feelings of depression, exhaustion, anxiety, irritability (WITHDRAWAL). I am getting a little tired of alcohol dictating whether I am happy or not.
Thank you, Tucker, for you honest, direct, butt-kicking, concerned, caring text.
You have changed my mind - now it is up to me to change my behavior.
Tucker actually sent that letter to me by accident before she sent it to you and you're right it was powerful. I had already figured out I was going through physical withdrawl but the letter validated my decision to permanently abs. My body was telling me "enough is enough, you're too smart to keep doing this" I mean really, was I going to wait until I started seeing flying monkeys. I hope you have a great and HO free weekend.
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