Friday, July 22, 2011

7/22/11 (Fri) HANGOVER! 5 last night!

So, since last Monday - absed Monday, one Tuesday, one Wednesday, FIVE last night!  Are you kidding me!  I said my major goal was no NO.  Guess what I have a hangover.  I don't get it!  I mean I understand why I have a hangover, but I don't get why I am sooooo stupid LOL!  When am I going to learn!  I had one with any early dinner, drove home - lost the buzz - should have stopped - didn't and continued on to have 4 more!  Why do I do that?  Why do I just stop caring, counting, sipping?  I understand the concepts/tools - the idea behind them - why they work - I just don't seem to be able to use them.  Please don't say I don't care enough - because I am fighting with all I have!  I feel like it is when you see an overweight dietician, a doctor who smokes or a police officer driving drunk.  They/I have all the knowledge, just do not apply it.  I would say I CHOOSE not to apply it, but honestly, sometimes I don't really feel like I have any control.  It just doesn't make any sense to me!  When is the pain and suffering of the next day going to be greater than the immediate enjoyment of the alcohol the night before?  It is just all so absurd to me!

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