Tuesday, July 12, 2011

7/12/11 (Tues) - Terrible sleeping

I feel terrible today.  Actually worse than I did on Day 4 last week.  I couldn't sleep at all last night.  I feel exhausted, but restless.  I can't get comfortable and feel irritable. I also think I am getting hot flashes from withdrawal.  I am not going through menopause haha.  I wake up in the AM feeling like I have a hangover - not in my head, but in my body.  I feel all shaky.  Not like the DT's or whatever they call that - not visible, uncontrollable shaking.  It is more like heart palpitations - an inside shakiness.  This scares me a little because I wonder if maybe I am starting to become physically addicted.  I always thought I was only mentally addicted to the habit, because I don't get any of the serious withdrawal symptoms that you see in the movies.  I can't, however, ignore the fact that every time (anymore) that I abs for more than 3 days I become exhausted, restless, grumpy, shaky.  I already know that I get physically depressed when stopping, but I look at that as more mental.  This whole physical thing is a little concerning.  If I am becoming more and more physically dependent/addicted, am I on my way to becoming a full fledged alcoholic who "loses everything" for the drug of choice?  I just can't see me being that stupid - but I also don't see my father/grandfather/great-grandfather/grandmother as being stupid either.  A rather sobering thought, in more ways than one.

Also, yesterday, I told my best drinking friend that I was taking a break. Her and I have been through so much together - she means the world to me.  She said, "Oh NO!  Why?  Just don't drink during the week.  We can still drink on the weekends!  You aren't that bad!"  What do I do with that?


  1. Hey kiddo! I'm no expert but I am a nurse and I do have my own experience. What you describe is what I usually go through the first few days. The hot flashes at night. OMG! The bedsheets are soaked and I'm shaking like I'm chilled.. Of course, I am going through the dreaded menopause but it's never that bad. And I hate for anybody to hand me a pen to try to sign anything because of my shaking,even the credit card machine thing freaks me out. I've always assumed for me that these are signs of physical withdrawl. For me they go away within 3 days. It sounds like yours come on later than mine but that may be because I have basically been abs'ing then binging for the last 4 years instead of steady drinking like I used to so I may not have as much alcohol stored up as I used to. For at least 12 years there was not a night I didn't go without a drink, I was petrified I would go through the DT's. Thankfully, I never have.

  2. I hope you are feeling better today. I think your body is just detoxing. If you've ever been on the Atkins diet you detox for about 2 weeks when you go off carbs. They tell you up front that you will feel like crap and then one day you'll wake up and feel better than you have in years. Same way with those crazy detox juice diets. It's just our body's way of getting back at us for all the hell we've put it through. Stick with it, it will get better.