7/18/11 (Mon) 4 days of drinking 10 drinks

I haven't blogged since last Wednesday.  How did the weekend go?

• Thursday - worked my butt off around the house.  A beer sounded fantastic - a little reward for all my hard work.  Positive - I only had one.  Negative - I need to reward myself with something better for my body and soul - not a toxic substance that makes me feel guily afterwards.
• Friday - Had a good day.  Worked and played hard.  Hung out with my kids.  Had 2.5 beers.  Positive - was able to stop at 2.5 on a Friday - that is real progress.  Negative - day 2 of drinking.
• Saturday - Had a good day.  Ran some errands, relaxed, hung out with family.  Positive - didn't have a hangover Sunday ... didn't get too buzzed.  Negative - felt that "I need more ... I will just go have another beer while no one is looking" .... scary .... feeling.  Started too early (4:00).  Switched to wine.  Can't leave an open bottle.... 4 total. Day 3 of drinking.
• Sunday - Woke up intending on absing.  Positive - no hangover on Monday (today) ... didn't get too buzzed.  Negative - did not keep intention ... finished another open bottle of wine ...  total 3. Day 4 of drinking.

Not a great weekend, but let's think about some lessons learned ....

• I really need to pay attention to that "One more, sneaky, voice"  and realize that is the alcohol/addiction speaking to me.  Look at it for what it is .... learn to hate it .... be disgusted by it ...shut it up!  .... not give it any power!  Notice that it doesn't start talking until after 2.
• When relaxing by myself on a weekend at 4:00 in the afternoon, drink something else ... stay hydrated ... drink later it you still want to ... but not yet ... delay.
• I noticed Sunday I was a little irritable, grumpy, depressed .... I think form drinking 3 days in a row ... I heard that voice say ... just have a beer  ..... you will feel better ....  WHAT!!!! ... I have never really paid much attention to that voice before.  Next time I will try to shut that voice up as well!
• Keep trying to stick with beer .... portion controlled ..... less alcohol % ... alleviate the whole - need to not have an open bottle lying around conflict.  

Onward and upward ..... off to the gym ....  absing today!