Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Day before Thanksgiving

Last night I did have 2 glasses of wine.  I haven't drank during the week for a few weeks.  That open bottle in my fridge was calling my name.  What did it do for me? nothing.  How did it make me feel?  not really any different since I had shot my tolerance through the roof with this last weekend.  How did I sleep?  terrible - two glasses of wine and I was having hot flashes and just could not get to sleep.  It was almost like I had not drank enough to make me immediately fall asleep (only to wake up later) but just enough to not be able to go to sleep at all.  I am really nervous about the rest of the week and the upcoming Christmas break.  At the beginning of this week, I told myself that I am exhausted, out of shape, eating crappy, depressed and stressed out!  I needed to just spend this week recharging my batteries.  Instead I am falling back into old patterns of drinking, not sleeping well, running around doing things  (I think I have ADHD and the alcohol calms me down), not eating well and making excuses not to go to the gym.  I always think that if I can just get to the gym,  everything will fall into place.  Drinking last night (even just 2 glasses) killed my motivation this morning because I did not sleep well.  Maybe stopping drinking, will help everything fall into place.

In my craziest, most wonderful dreams, I just tell everyone that I don't drink and I am so relaxed, content, proud with that decision.  Why can't I just do it???

1 comment:

  1. You can. It's not a crazy dream but it is wonderful.