Sunday, July 29, 2018

7/29/18 Sharing with my neighbor

Yesterday started out kinda rough.  Still pretty physically blah but felt a little better mentally. Made myself get out of the house and went to dinner with family. Drank a Ginger Ale and gave myself permission to order a kinda pricey salmon dish as I was saving $20 on the two glasses of wine I would have normally drank. Came home and invited the neighbors (the one I wanted a beer with on Friday) over. I felt strong enough to socialize. I had blown her off on a number of occasions, including Friday, and didn't want her to think it was her so I told her everything. She knows that I go through periods of drinking and not drinking, but did not know the extent of my mental issues around my addiction. I told her that I don't necessarily drink like an alcoholic but I definitely THINK like one which would undoubtedly lead me to eventually to drinking like one. Even if that never happened, I am just sick of trying to battle the obsessive/compulsive nature of my thoughts around alcohol.  She is a super nice person but they are both pretty big drinkers, so I wasn't sure what her reaction would be.

After I was done telling her a brief history, where it had gotten to and about reaching out for help, she said, "You know I love you. I am so glad you talked to me about it. You need to have friends to talk to. I don't care if you drink or not and I think it is great you recognized you have a problem and are working on it."

I would call yesterday a success and today I feel much better about tackling a sober vacation.Vacations in the past have been exhausting. Thinking about drinking, drinking every day and waking up with a hangover almost every morning. I usually get back from vacations physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I have a great time, no doubt, but certainly do not feel relaxed and rested when I get home. I am going to try to have a different focus this vacation. Instead of hyper/party vacation full of selfish drinking, fighting and hangovers, I'm going to try a calm/restful vacation full of hiking, site seeing, dining and enjoying my family.

2 comments:

  1. Every day you impress me with your willingness to be honest. And now you have an ally in your neighbour.
    I bet if you think back you can also remember some shitty vacation times where too much drinking ruined plans and caused arguments.
    Not this time.
    High five.

    Anne

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  2. Yes! Telling your neighbor was awesome! I remember the first time I met my new neighbors I was super drunk. Later, after I got sober I told them. They were so supportive!
    You will be so happy you had a non drinking vacation!
    xo
    Wendy

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