Tuesday, July 10, 2018

7/10/18 - 5th Group Meeting and Isolation

Lots of new people at the meeting yesterday - two of which just got out of inpatient. We were talking about the varying degrees of the people in the group. I shared that although I have only had minor physical withdrawals (heart palpitations, anxiety, sweating) I had mentally gotten so bad that I had wished I would have a withdrawal seizure so I would know for certain I was "bad enough" to stop. The girl who just got out of inpatient said she had gone to medical detox twice in May. She said that you do not want to go through that. It is horrible. Again, I am just using the experiences of all of the people in the group to reinforce my reasons for quitting.  The 5 DUI guy said yesterday that he isn't physically addicted because he doesn't get the shakes.  I want to say to him - "that is bc you admitted you have drank everyday for the past 30 years". He also talks about cracking open his beers in the car on the way home from work bc "why not - they are cold." His level of denial is astonishing and I am tired of listening to his using stories like they are a badge of honor. I am going to ask my therapists today at my individual appointment how to deal with it.

I did learn yesterday that there are certain behaviors that can signal a relapse. For example, I think sometimes I drink bc I am lonely and/or bored. I miss connecting with other people when I isolate. I don't mind watching Netflix on a Saturday night and have given myself permission to do so but I think after a while it starts to depress me a bit. When I really start isolating, maybe that is a sign that a relapse could be coming and I need to do something about it.  I need to find some sober groups to meet with, go out with my friends without drinking, volunteer, accept offers to go out to dinner, just force myself to be around people so that I am not constantly isolating and then have a need to drink to connect.  I am a very social person and I need to find a way to connect with people without drinking or I will end up drinking again bc I am lonely.

6 comments:

  1. That was and is so important for me as well. I need some people time. I call friends to go walking, or to meet for coffe. Volunteering is a great help, and especially in the field of recovery.
    One very cool blogger started her own sober meet up, and they meet for painting, walking, etc.
    I’m looking to connect to a woman’s group that does fun social things, too. I think I found a good one!
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. What are some options for volunteering the field of recovery that you have found? I have a psychology degree and really like helping people.

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    2. My town has started a recovery center for the opioid crisis. I volunteer there. A lot of towns are opening them now so check out if there is one around you.

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    3. I volunteer for an organization that helps people with opioid addiction as well.
      I help with making kits with Naloxone, and sometimes assist with a training.
      https://steverummlerhopenetwork.org/

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  2. I have come to realize I actually prefer being alone. It took some time, because it was hard at first. But now I’m happy to putter.
    We adopted a fluffy rabbit and he makes me happy just watching him eat his hay!
    Lol

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    1. I think I like being alone as well. I just have to get over the feeling that I am wasting time when alone.

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