Friday, April 27, 2018
4/27/18 (Fri) Let's be clear
Just to be clear...I know that I struggle with alcohol....I am not in denial....and I am not going to a meeting. Just because I am trying to be healthier in all areas does not mean I am denying the fact that I am alcohol dependent. And...I have tried just stopping drinking and just worrying about that and sitting around eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself and being lazy. It lasted for awhile but I became isolated and bored. While this plan is ambitious (I realize) it is trying something different and it did work FOR ME when I quit smoking.
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This kind of reminds me of dieting. One can diet and lose weight. Lots of times, the weight is gained back, so the diet begins again, and weight is lost.Then, we gain weight. Then, we can't bear to diet again...we cannot even get started...we give up...we binge, promising to stop on Monday, or promising that we won't binge tomorrow...What I'm trying to say, is that we get tired of trying, our minds our like...forget it...we just can't.
ReplyDeleteIt is exactly like that
DeleteI was alcohol dependent for years - it gets worse - it's a progressive disease - I too wasn't going to go to meetings... I had the gift of desperation when I became so depressed and progressively dependent that I stopped eating - then ended up in the hospital - twice... Realized I had to ask for help and do something different - treatment and AA have worked for me. We are all pulling for you. There is a saying in AA that you can be as miserable as you want for as long as you want. I encourage you to try different not harder. Try a women's AA meeting - you will meet many wonderful supportive people. People have an idea (I know I did) of what a meeting would be like and I was completely wrong. Wishing you well!! There is freedom.
ReplyDeleteThis may be a form of denial...but I am not that bad yet, so I don't need to go to to a meeting. The key word, I realize, is yet.
DeleteThe truth is most of us reply to comments like this because it insinuates that we were all much worse than you are. It is that mistaken belief that you have to be a drunk to be use aa that keeps people drinking. It’s very common and it is an assumption made about aa by someone who has never been and has not found the connection and honestly that can be found in recovery support.
DeleteThe truth is, many people at aa are just like me. An upper middle class professional with cars, houses, live in help and a good education and upbringing.
Addiction does not care.
Hugs. Keep trying to move forward.
Anne
Right, it doesn't matter how much you drink! It's how drinking makes you feel. If you're obsessing over it and failing to control it, it doesn't matter if you're drinking a glass of wine or a bottle a day.
DeleteI think quitting alcohol is especially difficult because our culture doesn’t support it. When someone quits smoking, they tell people with pride. And everybody says good job that’s so awesome. There’s lots of support. And no shame around “having a problem with nicotine.” No one suggest you have just one cigarette or just smoke on special occasions. No one worries people won’t like them because they don’t smoke. Quitting anything addictive requires support. With alcohol the support is harder to find. I understand not wanting to go to a meeting, but how about seeing a counselor?
ReplyDeleteI sure wish being sober would be as popular at not smoking. It sure would make it easier.
DeleteIt take people like me and you to show how awesome it is to change the world.
DeleteMeeting, meeting, meeting...:)
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no...)
DeletePlease don't be mad, ksusier. Sweetie, this is your show and you can play it however you choose. Those comments might seem harsh, no doubt, Chica. But know these folks love you and are responding from that space. Please pay attention to Anne - she has it together
ReplyDeleteI actually was a little mad when the comments said I was in denial that I have a problem bc that is not true
Deleteok.
ReplyDeleteDo it! Take the big plunge and change it all. Maybe it will be exactly what you need. I desperately hope so, for you. We all do it different. And you will never know until you give this 100% effort.
Have you considered a life coach who also focuses on sobriety? Maybe that would be the accountability you need to make all these changes happen.
Honestly, any plan can work. A person just has to do the work to complete it.
Anne
I have actually considered finding a counselor that deals with addiction and childhood trauma. The thought of that terrifies me so I keep telling myself if I can't do it on my own, then I will do that. SO far, as crazy as it seems, I haven't admitted to myself that I can't do it on my own. Maybe that is the denial people are referring to.
DeleteI go to AA, and I had a wonderful teaching career, and never had a DUI, etc. But I still had a drinking problem.
ReplyDeleteLots of people get sober in many ways, but if what you are doing isn't working, then you have to change something.
I know I tried by myself, and that didn't work. I finally did everything, because I knew I had to quit. Therapist, life coach, aa, blogging, Belles' program, asking friends and family for support.
Not everyone is like me.
But these things helped me.
xo
Wendy