So I am beginning the book I bought called - The 30 Day Solution. I like that it clearly spells out steps to think about and do for 30 days along with a companion website full of checklists, resources and recordings.
Day 1 of the program talks about starting a journal to record all of the action steps - check - I'll just do it here for my own future reference.
The next thing is to take a before picture - not going to show that today haha and schedule a dr appt with blood work - check
Next - think about E + R = O (event + response = outcome)
It is described as "paying attention to moments when you are complaining about or blaming an event rather than focusing on creating a new response that can change the outcome."
I suppose people can interpret this differently. For me it applies to avoiding social situations when not drinking.
In the past while drinking
E (social event) + R (pre-drinking/over-drinking) = O (hangover, regret, insomnia, depression, anxiety)
In the past while not drinking
E (social event) + R (not attending/hosting) = O (isolation, loneliness, depression)
What I would like for the future
E (social event) + R (attending and not drinking) = O (being able to socialize sober without embarrassing myself and wake up without a hangover feeling proud, happy, at peace)
I need to change my response. Instead of just staying home and complaining about not being able to drink and therefore not wanting to go, I need to go, stay sober, have a good time and learn that I don't need alcohol to socialize and have fun. If I don't ever change my response, I am never going to learn anything differently and then change my outcome. That is something new to think about.
Lastly - listen to the Time Travel Technique - guided meditation
OMG!!!I am not that easily influenced by stuff like this but I found myself going through a range of intense emotions and physical responses. When I put myself in the timeline 1, 5 and 10 years in the future while continuing to drink I seriously started crying. I felt stuck, sad, lonely, exhausted and confused. When I then put myself in the future by 1, 5 and 10 years of sobriety I seriously sat up straight, uncrossed my legs, felt myself open up to the possibility and actually started smiling. This was an incredible exercise that I will definitely listen to every time I question my desire to quit drinking! Amazing!
PS - This is not an advertisement for the book lol! I just use my blog to record my thoughts about my journey. But - so far so good :)
Dear SFB,
ReplyDeleteI know the social situations are sometimes the hardest for us ex-drinkers, in the fact that many of us love a good party, like to have fun, tell stories, and so forth.
I find that for me, I still can have a good time, but just for not as long.
I get tired of making small talk, or of having around while other people tel the drunk stories.
I have changed, and you can too!
xo
Wendy
How wonderful that you have found a way. I love the timeline exercise, I'm going to try it. I find that if I continually remind myself "I am not losing anything, I am gaining my life back" it helps me to not pick up that first drink and to participate in life, even though I may be scared. Go you!!
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