Saturday, June 11, 2016

6/11/16 (Sat) Forgiveness

Today in the book is all about forgiveness.  It talks about forgiving people in the past for hurting you or letting you down.  I just can't do this exercise.  I can't and won't go back and rehash, analyze, examine and try to make sense of all the things that hurt me in my childhood.  I won't do it.  It is not therapeutic for me and all it does is bring me I'm out on this one - the past is the past and I choose to leave it there. The power is in the present and what I choose to do with it.

The other exercise is forgiving myself.  I had a hard time with this one as well because I haven't really done anything bad to anyone (except myself).  I really haven't gotten to the point of hurting other people or having my drinking impact others.  Really...I haven't - I just live in my own little personal torture chamber.

Then I started reading about loving myself.  That I could definitely use some work on.  Can I look in the mirror and seriously say that I love myself?  Hell no! That's just weird and corny to me.

From the book
"Poisoning your body with alcohol, judging yourself for the inability to quit or control your drinking and beating yourself up for you mistakes all lead to one end result - you stop loving yourself and may even end up hating yourself."

"The first way you can start to love yourself is to stop judging yourself. Accept yourself right where you are. Not where you are going to be in 30 days or where you were last year, but right where you are today at this very moment."

"The key to thriving in sobriety is to first identify this cycle. Becoming aware of why you drink, what cycles continue to cause you to drink more often, and the feelings you have around drinking puts you on a path to changing."

This is interesting "Why do I drink?" bc I like it, it makes me happy, it makes me feel accepted
"What cycle continues to cause me to drink more often?"  The more I drink, the more I want to drink, I don't know why or what causes it.
"What feeling put me on a path to want to change it?" How crappy it makes me feel

The book gave a self love mantras but I didn't really like it.  I like these better:




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