Wednesday, June 8, 2016

6/8/16 (Wed) Day 3 - Miserable

I CAN NOT SLEEP!!!  Insomnia is killing me!

3 weeks ago - drank Fri, Sat, Sun evenings and felt crappy Mon, Tues, Wednesday
2 weeks ago - drank Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun evenings and felt crappy Mon, Tues, Wed
last week  - drank Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun evenings  and felt crappy Mon, Tues and today

This has been my pattern for as long as I can remember.  Not every week but probably 2 of the 4 weeks a month.  By Thursday I finally feel better and then guess what I start thinking about....drinking!!!  It is just such a stupid, exhausting way to live life and I am tired of it.

This time is particularly bad (it seems to get worse every time). It is Wed and I haven't drank since Sunday but I am dizzy, achy, tingly, sweaty, grumpy, sleepy, exhausted and depressed. And I know, without a doubt, tomorrow or Friday I will feel better and want to drink.

NO...I'm changing that thinking.  I don't want to drink anymore. I am tired of feeling this way.  I want to feel good next week, be able to sleep, workout and get things done.  I want to be proud of myself. I want to be more productive, peaceful, happy and content.  I am NEVER going to feel this if I continue the same path I have been on for 30 years.  Time to stop kidding myself and get real!

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