I am a 51 year old wife, teacher and mother of 2. I have a 21 year old son and a 25 year old daughter. New intro...I am sober and love it! It isn't always easy but it is always worth it! Old intro...I am fighting this damn drug called alcohol. I have been a weekend binge drinker for 30 years. I binge 2-3 times a month on a Friday or Saturday, but alcohol kicks my butt every single day of my life. I am sick of it!
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
6/7/16 (Tues) Day 2 - a different way to spend my summer - 30 Days
So I woke up today with a new sense of determination. Yesterday I told my sister, friend, son and husband that I wasn't drinking for the next thirty days. Here were their responses:
friend - that's great, maybe I will do it with you but I'm going through a lot right now
son - again? (not quite sure how to take that)
husband - ok (he really doesn't care it I drink or not)
sister - really? you don't think you can just have 2? Ok if that's what you need to do
It's scary to put it out there. It is so much easier to not tell anyone - that way I don't risk looking like a failure when I do drink and feel everyone's secret eye rolls
I REALLY want this summer to be different. It has already started out the same. The last 2 weekends I have drank way too much, spend Mon-Thurs recovering and then drink again Fri-Sun. I get nothing done and feel like crap all the time. They only time I feel joy is when the weekend is coming up and I can drink - what a pathetic way to live.
I found a book called - The 30 Day Solution - http://www.the30daysolution.com/
I think I have a bit of ADD and have a hard time even getting through the free sample without getting bored and quitting. I actually got through the sample and was inspired to try it. It really spoke to me - it talked a lot about how boring everyone thinks life will be without alcohol. It spoke to my biggest fear. It has specific things you do for 30 days to change your mindset around alcohol. I'm gonna try it and do the exercises here on my blog so I have a record to later refer to.
Has anyone read this book? I'd love to know what you think?
I am really going to work on this for the next 30 days. I am going to make a to do list every day.
#1 every day will be "stay sober" (I'm not going to say "don't drink" because that sounds negative)
#2 every day will be "do the exercises in the book"
#3 every day will be "walk my dogs" because I NEED to get outside and get some sunshine
the rest of the list will be stuff like - laundry, clean, mow, grocery shop, stain the deck, clean the hot tub, etc.
I'm giving myself permission to not care about the rest of it if I get #1-#3 done. These items are my priority - even if it means I take naps and sleep until 8:30 and watch stupid daytime television. I feel that if I focus on 1-3 the rest will fall into place. We will see....
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Trying something new is a great idea! Best to you xo
ReplyDeleteSomeone I read once said try something new when you try to quit, we are all so different and react in different ways to different things. As I mentioned before the concept of one day at a time seemed too simple to me and I didn't even consider it. This time it is my saving grace. Make sure you ring fence time to do the above and don't try and just wing it. Good luck, you sound so different from yesterday's post.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy for you - go day 2!
ReplyDeleteI agree with your other post. Accept that you will feel miserable (at first) either way. But if you keep drinking there is no end to the misery. Once you stop the misery DOES pass. You will feel tired, cranky, overall moody and still crave alcohol...dont let those things surprise you and instead focus on getting around them!
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