Monday, January 20, 2014
Well..I live in Denver so I am sure you can imagine what football was like here yesterday. I decided to have family over for the game. I made a bunch of food, big pot of chili and was really looking forward to it - like in the past when I new I could drink. My sister brought in a bottle of wine and had it opened by 1:30. I looked at it, contemplated, and thought...not yet, still cooking, would rather have a clear head than get that whole hyper, distracted thing going on. Over the course of the next 2-3 hours I went to my wine glasses 3 times to get one out and changed my mind. I went to the garage twice to get a beer and changed my mind. I wasn't having an inner battle with myself, I wasn't trying to talk myself out of it...it actually seemed like I was trying to talk myself into it - and I didn't really want any. Finally I poured a glass of wine, had three sips and dumped it out. I jsus honestly didn't want it. It didn't taste good, I was enjoying my clear head and my calm behavior, I didn't want to wake up with heart palpitations and hot sweats on my birthday. I just really didn't want any. I loved that feeling.. I hope it sticks around.