I have to say I am a little disappointed in myself today in my failure over the weekend. I told myself I wasn't going to beat myself up and I did not yesterday but I am back to feeling that same way on Monday - uninspired, tired, sad, wanting just to crawl into bed. I don't know if I am physically hungover but I am emotionally hungover. Just all the more reason to stop for good.
I asked my kids (18 and 22 yo) if they would be disappointed in me if I drank Saturday night. They both said, "We don't care if you drink or not - we just don't like to see you be so hard on yourself when you do. So the real question is - will you be disappointed in yourself?"
The answer is yes. I tried to not be yesterday, but I really am.
I know how that feels. In the end, the only thing that worked for me was to plan, plan, plan.....shake up the routine. Just DO rather than allow yourself to think - especially when you get the 'urge' to drink. It also didn't work for me, when I did the same as you - ask other people what THEY thought. My husband said the same thing as your kids, and in the end, i realised that I was just asking him for "permission" ...and it wasn't fair to him. Maybe rather than beat yourself up, take a look at the pattern of the weekends? Try to find a way to shake it up a bit? Hugs xxxx
ReplyDeleteYes I get that - asking for permission. Kids and partners want to please, love and support without knowing or understanding what they are really agreeing to. They don't have the mind of an addict. They aren't using alcohol as a coping mechanism - it's would be like me asking my dog if I could drink tonight :)
ReplyDeleteYou are writing this down so you are on your way KS xx
Michelle x