Saturday, March 24, 2012

My first Friday off of my "break"

I would say it went very well.  I am a teacher and yesterday was the last day of school before spring break.  I know how bad this sounds, but I was actually really excited about something again.  It wasn't that I wanted to come home and get trashed - that is the last thing I want to do.  But to be able to come home on a Friday, sit in the sun with my friends and have a beer to celebrate the beginning of spring break just made me happy.  If I wasn't drinking, I would have felt really bummed out and depressed that I couldn't.

So I had one nice pale ale in the sun with my friends AFTER I walked the dogs, ate a sandwich, watched something on TV with my son, and drank lots of water.  I allowed myself a couple of hours after I got home to settle myself, calm down, take care of myself and just get a little more balanced before having that beer.  In the past it would have taken priority over everything else.  I would have opened that first beer within 10 minutes of being home.  My friend didn't really even want to walk fist, but I did so she joined me.

I enjoyed that beer, took it slowly, poured all of us a club soda to go with it and enjoyed the sunshine.  We decided to go to dinner and had to wait around forever for the guys.  In the past, I would have downed another one or two while waiting.  I drank another glass of water and we decided to meet them there.  At the restaurant I only had one beer.  I have spent plenty of dinners with friends at that restaurant drinking way too much and worrying that I might see a family from school.  Not last night.  And I did see families from school.

After dinner we came home and the girls and kids decided to watch a movie in the "dreaded wine basement" of my friends house.  I have been so wasted in the privacy of her basement drinking endless bottles of wine with her in the past.  Many of you may remember this is the friend's basement that I had a panic attack about and had to go home when I wasn't drinking a couple of months ago.  She said, "What do you guys want? a beer? wine? ice cream? seltzer? gum?  My mind started to go to the place of "I'm kind of full, so not another would be good right now."  I told myself NO and reminded myself that I was a responsible drinker.  I knew if that wine got opened it would not have been a good thing.  I had a little bit of ice cream, we all had a seltzer water and I ended my night in bed at a respectable hour having only had 2 beers.  I think that's pretty good.

For those of you following my bog, please don't criticize my drinking.  This is my choice for right now....but I am very open to opinions based on your own experience.  If you have gone through this before and you see me starting to slip, please feel free to say so.  I really listen to what others have to say and think about it as long as it is in a positive constructive tone.  Thanks for sharing my journey!

1 comment:

  1. I'm the same type of drinker you are (or should I say you were!?). I've never made it as long as you have without drinking. Be proud of what you've accomplished! I think you're doing exactly what you set out to do...searching for balance. If you lose the ability to balance/moderate again, you know what you need to do. Thanks for your posts. They always hit close to home for me.