The past is proof/stop trying to fool yourself 12/31/17 (Sun)

Went to my sister's house last night. She, of course, had my favorite wine and offiered it up right away. I politely declined stating that I was giving my liver a break after the holidays.  She asked one more time a little later but I still said no. Yeah...me :)

Tonight we are having just a few people over for NYE.  I have done probably 28 drunken, crazy, and yes fun, NYEs in my past.  This was my party night! The night I lived for! Everyone was drinking as much as me and it was awesome! No one bailed early bc they all wanted to wait until midnight. I usually hosted huge parties that went all night so I didn't have to drive.  Selfishly I gave little thought to whether or not people at my house could drive home.  I made sure there were other kids over to play with my kids so I didn't feel guilty as a mom, but my drinking on this night was my priority and I didn't apologize for it. We have hosted plenty of 4:00 am parties where I either end up throwing up or passing out in bed only to wake up barely able to function looking at a trashed house. 

I have also experienced four (two were bc of babies/pregnancies) so only two sober by choice NYE's.  The first was in 2011. I was something like 4 days sober.  I sat in my bed all by myself stressed out, having anxiety attacks, counting the minutes, blogging constantly and I did it! For the first time since I was 17. The second time was in 2012. I was something like 4-5 months sober. This time wasn't as hard bc I knew I could do it.  Thanks to my blog, I can look at January 1 (or 2 or 3) and know whether I drank or not.  I am either proud and sober or depressed and hungover.

Here are the two sober blogs from the years I didn't drink

Welcome 2012!

Was this me all along? 

2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 I drank. These are the posts to prove to myself that I did not wake up int he new year feeling happy and relieved that I can drink and proud of myself. 

1/2/14 (Thus) Well....here goes....again....Done!

1/3/15 (Sat) - Sooo lost...

1/4/16 (Mon) Vegas and doing a 30

1/2/17 (Mon) A new beginning - terrible winter break - 4 hangovers

It is so dumb that I have to prove it to myself but I am thankful that I have been blogging over the years.  I just seem to forget how bad alcohol is for me when I am not in the middle of a hangover. My blog is proof.  Every time I spend my winter break drinking, I start the new year off in a terrible state. Not this year. I will not drink tonight and my post tomorrow will be positive and happy and proud.