Thursday, August 6, 2015

Trip to the mountains with naltrexone

I would say my 4 day trip to the mountains was so so:

Positives
took hikes every day
didn't eat like total crap
didn't have any drunken fights or crying sessions
only had 13 drinks for the 3 days (none on the last day)

Negatives
still had 13 for the 3 days
slept terribly
woke up not feeling so hot each morning
am pretty tired today from drinking 6 out of the last 8 days

Differences naltrexone made compared to past trips to the mountains with family (I think). I did dtake a half a pill before the first drink in the afternoon on all three days.

Positives
Even though I did drink Sunday, Monday and Tuesday enough to not feel great the next day, I wasn't in the kitchen sneaking drinks, finishing other people's glasses, freaking out that I had to stop drinking for the night.  That was different. I was in bed each night by 11:00 and was fine being done.  I still over drank , but didn't have that insatiable "need" for more that is so bad for me when on  vacation.  This is a very good improvement!

Negatives
I still slept horrible.  I know that is because of the alcohol not the naltrexone but something that was different was how incredibly dry my mouth, throat, nose and sinuses were during the night.  I even had a bloody nose one of the mornings.  That was different and not pleasant but I don't know if it is because of the naltrexone.  I have also had a couple of dizzy spells and have felt overall a little spacey.  I have read that this can be a side effect but will go away.

SO I think my trip was ok.  I still drank more than I wanted to and I still really wanted to drink on all three of those days, but I think I definitely did better stopping and going to bed.  I am just going to stay the course and see how it goes.

School starts for me Monday so I 'm going to try not to drink any more before then.  Sometimes when I am on my last week of summer I go all out and party which does not set me up for a very positive start to the school year.

This is what I blogged last year when school started.  I don't want it to be the same this year.

I feel so alone right now.  Today at work, I found myself wishing I would fall and hit my heard or something so that I could just go home and go to  bed and no one would know why.  I went back and forth between feeling like I was going to pass out or start crying.  I was ready to quit my 23 year teaching career, walk out the door and never look back. 


2 comments:

  1. Wow! I missed that blog last year and never realized you were in such a dark place. The most important thing is that you haven't given up. I'm glad the Naltrexone seems to be effective. Whatever works.

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  2. Hi,
    You're sending yourself a pretty strong message that something needs to change - and look, from my own experience it can seem really hard to just drop everything and take a break to reset and detox - but that is what you are saying you want.

    So just do it.

    Get in touch with your Human Resources and tell them you need a week off - the go to your doctor and get a note so you aren't worried about it.

    Then go home and make a solemn pledge to yourself that you wont' touch alcohol for a week and you will do nothing except drink water and rest. My best sober periods including this one came from a solid weeks rest and plenty of water. Just watch tv and lay around on the couch or whatever.

    You are exhausted and even those vague thoughts of self harm are crystal clear signals that you need to stop and give yourself a break.

    Doing this will clarify your need to stop drinking. You're not taking a week off to catch up on drinking - you're taking a week off to ease off the drink.

    Let's see if we can't take strong, positive action and confront this alcohol once and for all.

    Thinking of you and hoping you are ready for the change.

    Thanks,
    Bren

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