8/11/15 - RIP

For some reason the death of Robin Williams hit me really hard last year.  It could have been because of the dark place I was in when I heard about it. Or it could be that in some ways I can relate to him in the fact he tried so hard to cover up his own struggles to the world with a facade.  I think I do that all the time.  I don't think I do it because I am afraid of what people will think of me in the moment. I know that my friends and family will support me no matter what.  I think it is because I am afraid of what they will think or what that will mean to me in the future.  I don't want to share with them my struggles and then have them give me "the look" if I decide to have a drink.  It is much easier to hide in all of your own bullshit of no one else knows about it.  But hiding in all that bullshit can be a lonely (and stinky) place.