Saturday, February 14, 2015

This is close to the view I am seeing this morning from out place in the mountains.  I am up and not hungover and pretty proud of myself.  I had one HUGE craving yesterday afternoon where I almost caved.  It was soo close.  We had been skiing all morning and were coming in for lunch.My sister who doesn't ski had a table saved for us.  It was a beautiful, sunny 40 degree day, I didn't have to go home and I wouldn't be the only one drinking.  The thought of sitting in the sun, having a beer was actually too much.  I have to admit that I had already talked myself into having that beer, to trying again, to doing better this time, convincing myself that I din't want to not drink forever.

But...when I get to the table, they are over in a corner, inside, surrounded by crowds of people (who aren't drinking BTW). They aren't drinking and my sister and her boyfriend are actually arguing, so the intense craving just went away - instantly.  It was like if my perfect little scenario of sitting in the sun with my ski boots off, my feet up, having a beer with my friends wasn't happening, I didn't care at all.  Weird how one little trigger can make that much of a difference.

When we got back from skiing, the wine was flowing, but I didn't drink.  I have a little confession that I did take a pain pill for my leg, which was hurting again after skiing. That messed with my head just enough to make me not want to drink. I know that sounds terrible,  just telling the truth.  The question is why does anything need to mess with my head?

I did notice last night when everyone was drinking except me, my family says some pretty mean shit to each other, especially when drinking. I don't understand why everyone has to make negative (oh I'm just joking) comments all the time.  I really don't think I do this (that much) but when drinking, I can just ignore all of it and blow it off.  I sure noticed it more last night and I don't like it.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you for getting through it without drinking! Seeing the kinds of things you don't like other people doing when they drink can only help you in your resolve, I think. I hope today went well, too! xo