Wednesday, February 18, 2015

2/18/15 (Wed) Feeling crappy - PAWS

I just went back into my posts from October 2012 to find the name of something I had researched - PAWS.  I have 2 posts from then that talk about how tired I was. It was around the 80 day mark which is also when I started drinking again in the spring of 2012 (after 82 days sober).

It amazes me how quickly I can forget all the times I go through the same thing.  Thank goodness for my blog.  It reminds me how ridiculous this hamster wheel is.  I did not feel good at 49 days last time either (or at 80 days).  I just need to give myself time to heal.

This article says that is takes 2 years for the PAWS episodes to go away, but that the "episodes" usually only last a few days.  I will ride this out and hope I feel better in a few days.  I can definitely see how the feelings associated with this could cause relapse. I just feel depressed, unmotivated, exhausted, irritable...isn't this why I stopped stop feeling this way?

1 comment:

  1. I think this stuff is fascinating...I also think it's amazing that we put ourselves through all of this over and over.

    Give yourself's worth the effort.