Saturday, February 7, 2015

A close one

Phew...that was a close one.

I was getting back from the grocery store on an extremely warm and sunny day.  We needed to leave for the restaurant in 30 minutes.  As I was driving home I was thinking about how in the past I would have had a beer before we left and how good that would taste.  Then I started thinking about how nice it is to be able to have a nice glass of wine at a nice restaurant. Then I started thinking that I don't want to be someone who never drinks. Then I started thinking, that I would just stop blogging, no one would ever even know. Then I thought that I would just be more careful this time.

I got an overwhelming craving for a beer as I put away groceries followed by a glass of wine at dinner.  It was so weird how all of my resolve just flew out the window and I was almost in some survival mode of, "Just don't think too much about it.  Just get a beer. Do it!  Right now! Hurry before you change your mind!"

Well, I thought maybe I was just thirsty and quickly poured a seltzer grapefruit.  The rest of the night was pretty easy but those 20 minuted were pretty intense.


  1. Good for you for getting past it. Those moments are tough! I'm glad at least it was brief! xo

  2. That mother-fucking addiction voice is LOUD and cunning and will worm it's way into your head and whisper in your ear and before you know it you're thinking crazy shit and trying to figure out where in the HELL all of that came from!!!

    Still happens to me once in a while. The good thing is that now I can laugh at it and tell it to leave immediately. I usually shake my head and think, " did THAT happen." In the beginning though, it was scary as crap because of how close it can take you to relapse. {shudder}

    But look at YOU!!! You thought it through. I usually analyze the hell out of it in my head until it gets fed up and goes away. Never have I been as logical and clear thinking as you. BRAVO!!!


  3. I had one of those moments yesterday. I'm 152 days in, so cravings are getting more rare, but yesterday was a nice sunny early spring day in GA and we were out and about with nothing particular to do. We played tennis in the afternoon, picked up groceries and had a really relaxing day. Then later in the evening, we were grilling steaks for dinner, and I thought of the bottle of gin that is still in the freezer. I haven't given much thought to that bottle except that I asked my partner last week to pour it out when I'm not looking, and she forgot. So it's still there. I thought about how awesome a G&T would be with that steak. It was a pretty powerful thought. Wouldn't it be nice if I could enjoy one of those with a steak now and then... I poured myself a diet tonic water with lime to go with my dinner, and I was totally fine, but that craving was pretty intense for a little bit. Funny how you can go along for days, even weeks without a craving and a nice spring day brings some memory to life. It's really just nostalgia for a time when I would have thought a cocktail was a perfect end to a beautiful day. Turns out, the day was just fine without it, and today is even more perfect because I didn't pick up a drink.