After 20 years of weekend binge drinking at least 2 times a month (which was also getting closer and closer to daily drinking) and trying soooooo hard to moderate... trike, fabs, abs, count, wait, slow down, eat, etc. for two years - I know that my path is abstinence. It has taken my a long time and a lot of fighting with myself, but I feel a great sense of peace to be able to say this. I can finally be the person I knew I could be. I can be the role model, the one people look up to and are proud of. I can finally be proud of myself.
For all of you who are successfully moderating - good for you. There is a part of my that is jealous and I know how hard it is. For those of you who are exhausted broken, beaten down, tired of the fight...there is another way. I never thought I could be abstinate, and I am only on day 30 of forever, but I am, a this moment, at peace... something I have been longing for my whole life. We all have our own path...this is mine.
Day 30 may not seem like a success story, but every day, every weekend you abstain is a triumph, and something not to be underestimated. Everyone on this journey is so proud of you :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you now know where you belong. I finished my first 30 back in August and then added another 30 or so days and then THUD...roll, roll, roll, I found myself back in the ditch along the side of road. I'd hit a bump and tumbled off that damn wagon again. Why doesn't somebody install seat belts in that thing? Fortunately, I had those 60 days of peace to grab onto and I scrambled back on and haven't let go. Congratulations on your 30 and here's to the day we have too many 30's to keep count.
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