Well today is Day 9. It shouldn't be too much of a struggle today. I do back to work tomorrow and it is really hard to teach 30 - 11 year olds with a HO, so I never really drank during the week anyway.
It just now made me uncomfortable to type that sentence. It seems like a sentence I would have typed before. Getting up in the morning telling myself why I wouldn't drink that day. That is the first time I have done that in 9 days. For the past 9 days I have just known I wouldn't drink. When situations came up it became hard, but there was never any question first thing in the morning. I am going to have to watch that.
I am not drinking today because I stopped drinking. Period! No other reason! There are many reasons I stopped, but the reason I am not drinking today is because I stopped. It is not for any other reason that is specific for the day. It is bigger than that. It isn't because of today - it is because of my life in general.
PS - I wish these headaches would go away!
Love, love your honesty. Man! I can so relate!! I just retread your recent post again....2012 one. Talking about looking inward, but not wanting to be so sensitive.....trying to figure out what you like to do in your free time, etc.. I'm day 22 today. Keep following your blog and few others. It helps me a lot. I don't want to look back either. I just don't want to drink because I QUIT drinking! Period. End of thought. End of discussion with myself. Have you ever heard of AVRT? You should google it. (gosh, I can't even remember what the R and T stand for....but the A and V stand for the "alcoholic voice". It's really interesting! And true. Proud of you friend. This 'journey' is not over.....but it's getting better all the time.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I'm sorry. AVRT stands for: Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
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