Friday, February 3, 2012
Yes, I am still here...and... no, I have not drank - I think something like 40 days. I am feeling pretty good. Physically, I am finally starting to feel like 7-8 hours of sleep is enough when I wake up in the morning. Emotionally, I feel a little more even. I still get upset sometimes, but I actually am now expressing it because when I was drinking, I always wondered if it was just me being too sensitive because I was HO.
I am struggling a little today, however. I was always a happy drinker. I didn't drink when i was angry, sad or upset. For me, it was part of celebrations. Well, today is a SNOW DAY!!! and i am a teacher. Now that is a reason to celebrate. Better yet, it is a snow day on a Friday!!! I keep thinking, man, I would have definitely been thinking about getting my drink on. Not drinking this morning (I never drank before like 4:00 pm) but setting the plans in motion to have a party tonight. I would be texting my friends in the neighborhood seeing what they were doing later. Snow day today, no school tomorrow (don't have to get up) and then one more day to recover before Monday (or maybe got to a Super Bowl party)!!! Let's get this party started!!! That is how I would have been feeling.
I am glad I am not drinking, but I don't know what to do with those feelings of - Well this just doesn't seem as fun as would of in the past. it feels like my abstinence just took a little wind out of my sails - took a little joy out of my step, just doesn't seem as fun.
I know that it is what I want, I know I would be really mad at myself tomorrow for drinking, I know there are plenty of other things I can do with my time, I know all of that, just sayin....