Monday, February 20, 2012
Leap of faith
After 15 years of being the party girl, 10 years of trying to watch and do better, 2 years of seriously trying moderation, I just plain decided I had had enough of the weekend binge/party, followed by the hangover, followed by the regret/disappointment/depression/self hatred, followed by the felling better/denial/rationalization/obsession, followed by the excitement of the next weekend, followed by the binge /party ... over and over and over and over and over......I had finally just had ENOUGH! I am only 58 days sober and am struggling but still glad I finally took a leap of faith that this life had to be better than that life.
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I've following your journey because mine is almost exactly the same, except the 58 days sober. I've been rationalizing the excessive weekend only drinking for too long. I just went two weeks until I convinced myself that it would be ok to have a few this last weekend and I still feel physically & emotionally YUK and all things you mentioned following the weekend binge/party. I'm so close to calling it quits too...you give me hope that it's worth it! Congrats to your every sober day so far!
ReplyDeletePhew... it made me exhausted reading your post and remembering. It is a great reminder, that I truly needed!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to having ENOUGH and to all those sober days that you've put behind you. It is marvellous that you found the strength and courage to take the leap. Thank you for sharing dear ksusier and take care!