Saturday, February 18, 2012
Wanting to drink sooooooo bad!
I am having a REALLY BAD day! I am pissed - life just sucks! I am depressed - I don't feel like doing anything! I have ANOTHER headache! I am grumpy - this is soooo not fair!!! Everyone else gets to have a good time on the weekends and I just sit around being bored, mad, depressed! Who cares that it is a three day weekend? What difference does it make? Just another day to trudge through and go to bed! I thought I would feel amazing by now. I haven't had a hangover in 56 days! Yeah well, I feel like shit! i am seriously considering having one glass of wine tonight. I just want to have fun again and look forward to things again and not feel so down in the dumps. You guys may all feel amazing, but I don't! Sorry to be so negative - just how I am feeling right now!
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Hello: My name is Amanda and I just spotted your blog while surfing the web for blogs to help be because I feel the same way!
ReplyDeleteI haven't had a drink for 1 year, 4 months and I still have nights like this. They are few and far between but I have them. I know how you feel -- I feel angry, like "Why did I screw myself out of ever being able to have a glass of wine again!?" Sometimes I am made that I made this decision -- other people know about it and now I can't go back -- why would I screw myself like that!?
But then I think about how I haven't had a hangover in over a year. I haven't had to apologize to anyone about my drinking or wonder what I did/said in over a year. It is a HUGE relief to not experience those things anymore... right? :)
So hang in there, and just know that your blog helped get ME through a rough night!
A.
"I am seriously considering having one glass of wine tonight." Only you can decide but my advice is DON'T! Whether the headache that you mentioned is from stress, hormones, post acute withdrawal...it's still better than a hangover headache. Keep up the fight. Enjoy your extra day off tomorrow and do something healthy for yourself!
ReplyDeleteHope you don't mind that I comment on every post I read LOL- I actually have so much to do before I leave work but I feel compelled to tell you I am here. This post was 3 weeks ago, I see that but you and I both know it could be yesterday or tomorrow too. The fact you feel you need booze to have fun is your brains training. Every time you had fun drinking, chemicals were released unnaturally leaving it difficult to create these when not induced. When ever you drank to subside stress or even sadness, chemicals were released to allow for an elevated mood. This showed your brain that this is how you deal with these moments. What a piss off, you have been tricked. And now, when you want to be elevated or numbed or happier etc. obviously that is what your brain (an organ not to be messed with) wants you to do to fix it. And you KNOW it will. But I can gaurantee you this Miss. you are only furthering the debt you have put your brain in. Find somethings that release those chemicals, and quick. Get your butt out of the house and quit isolating your bummy mood. LOL, got love for ya - its going to be ok!
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