So I have this neighbor friend who I love. She is so positive and never complains about anything. We have spent many an afternoons sitting in the warn sun during the winter having a beer. She knows I love that so whenever it was a weekend and the sun was out she would call and say, "You ready for a beer yet?" My response was always, "Absolutely!" If I couldn't, I would always be bummed out.
Well, I have been avoiding her since absing. She has probably called half a dozen times in the last 45 days. I either don't answer the phone or make up some excuse. I was really nervous about telling her I wasn't drinking anymore. I knew she wouldn't give me hard time, but I didn't want our relationship to change. I knew I needed to tell her so she didn't think I was just being a b**ch.
She came over last Friday (which used to be a big drinking night for me). She had her usual bag of three beers she brought with her. After a while she asked where my beer was. I had been waiting for the question, I took a deep breath and told her that I had quit drinking. I had no idea what she was going to say. I didn't know how much I was going to need to explain or defend.
She said, "Cool." That's it!!! COOL?!?!?! I felt the need to say something, so I said that I don't want her to not drink because I am not. She said, "Don't worry, I won't." That was the end of it. That's it! I was worried about nothing. She obviously could care less whether I drink or not. What did I think she was going to say - OHHH!!! That SUCKS!!! WHY!!!! Come on!!!!!
It is blowing my mind. I always, for some reason, thought everyone else wanted me to be drinking. That they would all be totally bummed out when they found out I wasn't. That seems a little self centered now - to think that my drinking was so important to everyone else. I am glad now that it isn't/wasn't, but still, what kind of a reality was I living in?
I am loving the slow reveal you are experiencing. I remember my slow reveal of so many things when I finally took the alcohol away. You think you understand everything and then a new truth reveals itself! It's awesome! xxx
ReplyDeleteThat's brilliant! It just goes to show your worries can often be unfounded, and you must have something worthwhile with this lady. Maybe you could do something else instead, like go see a film, or go walking. There's so many other just-as-fun things you can do :)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the realizaton that it's self-centered to think that my drinking is important to other people. The last time I tried to just take some "time off" from the routine (excessive) weekend drinking, my closest friend asked if I was trying to perfect. I had quit smoking about the same time. I'm so far from perfect and it really hurt me that she wasn't being supportive. Congrats to you on your sobriety and your courage to tell others. I'm so glad you're getting the encouragement and support you deserve!
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