Weekly check in after the weekend. Friday, I wasn't planning on drinking. My ds came over and just poured me a glass of wine without asking. Had that, then had a beer. I shouldn't have had the second. Why? That beer was my rationalization for not having any more wine - my compromise to myself. I would have been fine with the one or even none for that matter. Saturday - went out to dinner - had a beer waiting for a table and one glass of wine with dinner. That was all. Yesterday - Mother's Day - I wasn't going to drink. I told myself I was giving myself the gift of a sober Mother's Day. Family came over, red wine was open, I had 2 glasses. That was the first red wine since December.
Today, I am soooo tired. I never had more than 2 in a day and only 6 over the whole weekend (I used to drink that much every Friday and Saturday). I woke up with a bit of anxiety this morning and am so tired right now in the evening that I don't even want to make dinner. I don't even know if moderation is worth it. I just don't really feel like I am living life fully.
It's so much easier to analyze someone else's actions rather than our own, and I'm so good at it. lol k, I think you should ask yourself what you are hoping those drinks will do for you, what is their purpose? Do you want them to relax you, or give you a little lift, maybe just smooth you out a little? Are they doing that or are they, as they always did for me, only leaving you wanting another? If they are giving you what you want, relax and enjoy them, you aren't stepping over bounds. But if they are only leaving you unsatisfied and tired, why bother?
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