Saturday, August 19, 2017

Sent to a friend today 8/19/17 (Sat)

Hi --------,

How are you doing?  I ran across a couple of articles I thought you might be interested in. 

If you take out the seizures, delirium tremors, hallucinations and visible shaking - I would have all of the symptoms pf withdrawal.  But bc I didn't experience the "super serious" symptoms - I remained in denial for a long time.  It's like I couldn't admit to myself that I was actually withdrawing from a drug that I was addicted to when I would feel crappy for a few days after my weekend drinking (like every Monday -Thurs). I knew I felt bad bc of the alcohol but because I only drank on the weekends and only maybe drank 5-10 drinks all weekend and I didn't experience the "serious" withdrawal symptoms, I wasn't that bad.  

The "not being able to get enjoyment from everyday experiences" even when not experiencing a hangover - almost having to drink or experience the anticipation of knowing I was going to drink was the only thing that made me feel "happy" on the weekends is what finally made me realize that I have physically screwed up my brain. That I'm not just making something out of nothing/over dramatizing/over obsessing/imagining it to the point that I am depressed and have anxiety unless I am drinking or thinking about drinking. I needed it to feel normal - to feel like my happy self.  Because it is an addiction and the denial is so strong, it is so hard to see that through all of the bullshit.  

Once I finally did, I knew I had to stop. I was watching an Intervention once and a lady had holed herself up in a hotel room, drinking as much as she wanted and didn't care. I actually couldn't believe that I could see the appeal to that???? WTF!!!! This realization scared the shit out of me bc I have no idea when my switch would be flipped (like the father's) and I would put a drug before everything - even my own happiness.

This may not all be true for you. I'm not trying to say you are like me and that you need to stop drinking. I would never tell you that. Your path is your path, but I know you like me to send you the no nonsense, what is alcohol doing to me articles :)  Happy weekend!


  1. Yes. That similar realization scared the shit out of me too.

  2. My denial was huge, too.
    It took a public humiliation to knock that denial away.

  3. Just checking to see how sober teaching is going?

  4. Thanks for checking on me. Kind of a reminder to post - so I did. Doing pretty good :)